Monday, December 17, 2007

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Oh my, I just got rocked by my civil procedure final and now think moving to a ranch in Northern Colorado/ Southern Wyoming like the meadow in James

Galvin's "The Meadow" and becoming a hermit would be a good idea in order to avoid the society that created a need to draft and implement something like civil procedure. I swear, it's like lawyers playing Dungeon and Dragons.

Oh! You could file a counter claim against the third-party defendant except for that you're the plaintiff and you can't file the claim because 28 USC 1367(b) prevents you from filing a claim against parties added under Rule 14 because it would destroy diversity under 28 USC 1332 rendering moot the court's subject matter jurisdiction and violating the federal rules of civil procedure.

Oh! You can't cast a fire mage destruction spell until you reach level 12 and obtain the ruby crystals from the Fire Giant in the Ice temple in the land of Hydrangea which you can't get to unless you have rubic's armor which you can't equip unless your party has a level 10 paladin or level 12 barbarian.

I guess rules are necessary to have a functioning society and so that everyone can play nice. I like knowing the rules and they are useful, but being tested on them isn't that great. Actually, being tested on them isn't even that bad. It's the grade that I abhor. If I could take the test, find out what I did wrong, then redo it and know that I know the stuff, then the test would be great.

Like O-Chem. I don't remember much, but I bet if I'd have gone over that stupid American Chemical Society standardized final and saw everything I did wrong and why, I would remember something about o-Chem and that would be really great, or at least it would make me feel smarter. Instead I feel stupid b/c I got a D+. So now I got a crap grade and I don't remember anything about it. That double sucks.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Sinking into an absolute useless paralysis

As I am currently incapable of doing anything useful (and as I accidently started syncing iMail with my gmail account yesterday, which action caused me to find anew this lovely video amidst the mess what is my email history) I thought I'd share the joys with you. You have probably seen it before. It was rather popular last year--though that may perhaps be blamed on my isolated perceptions from German classes.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

TORTS FINAL



This is me about to knife-edge annihilate my torts final.

I'll show you assault & battery

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

What did you want when you were 14?

Yesterday in class, John gave us this rush-write prompt and asked us to email him our response so that he could get to know what a 14 year old girl is like, what she wants. This has something to do with a book he is writing. I wrote him my response tonight. It was rather humorous to me, so I thought I'd share. I want you to respond with what you wanted when you were 14. I bet you were not as neurotic as me. I hope you enjoy.


When I was 14 I wanted to be the daughter of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder on The X-Files. I'm serious. I was obsessed with the show. I stayed up until 2 a.m. every Saturday night so that I could record it on TV. I have a cupboard in my home bedroom brimming with VHS tapes full of episodes. I wanted to play their child in a movie. For some reason I didn't see it as a regular fixture of the show. Probably because they weren't yet together, and I thought of it as some sort of this-is-what-the-future-will-be sequel to their first movie ("Fight the Future"). I stood one day in my dad's bathroom (called so because none of the kids nor my mom ever seemed to utilize it regularly--maybe because it was very, very small) and clenched my jaws while looking in the mirror. I figured my red hair was what I "got" from Agent Scully. My nose was too big to come from her, so it became appropriately big in my eyes to be from Agent Mulder. When I clenched my jaw hard enough my muscles bulged out my cheeks and I believed I became quite similar to Mulder. But this made my teeth sore. I decided I would have to have short periods of filming everyday, so my jaw didn't get too sore. Last night I did this again for the first time in years.

I have mirror faces--faces that I make whenever I look in the mirror, or see myself in a window, or my reflection on shiny surfaces. I change the angle of my head, I hold up my tongue so my chin doesn't sag, I unclench my often cringing eye muscles. I do this out of habit and unconsciously. I don't think I knew I did it until I noticed my sisters do it. My sister Lucy pulls in her cheeks and slightly pouts her lips. She always was a meticulous reader of the J. Crew catalogue when she was 14. My sister Rosi's face goes coldly blank. Her forehead tightens, her eyebrows raise, and her lips slacken. She never looks like this if not looking at herself in the mirrow. When I was 14 my mirror face was to bite as hard as I could so that my jaw muscles would swell. And I practiced moving my eye brows individually. Dana Scully could do this exceedingly well. She had a face she would make when about to cry--the left eyebrow went up and the right dived nose-ward as the right side of her mouth arched up, almost as if trying to meet it. When she was acting skeptical, her left eyebrow would raise, but her mouth would winch up tight, her chin down. I watched her in the early black hours of Sunday mornings and memorized her faces. I mimicked them on my own in front of my dad's mirror. Only my eyebrows never got very good at moving on their own. So I never really ran out of things to practice, I guess.

For a few years I even became obsessed with fingers and fingernails, convinced that mine were sorry specimens. I was conflictingly envious of Dana Scully's perfect manicures, and yet horrified at having anything but closed trimmed nails. My thumbs were always shamefully wide. I met people at church and looked immediately to their hands. When I watched TV or movies I eagerly waited until their hands were shown and I could compare mine with theirs. I delighted when I deemed others' inferior to my own because it happened so rarely and because I saw it as some indication of overall worth. Toes and toenails were another problem that I eventually solved with socks.

I think I was very jealous and paranoid. I wanted praise and attention from parents and older people. I wanted boys to notice me. But I'd dropped out of Jr. high after Spanish class, so it wasn't going to happen there. My only interaction with boys my age came at church. But I was too embarrassed and awkward and socially incompetent to make friends with them. I think I created a pathological sense of the importance of obscure body parts--thumb nails, eyebrow raises, even red hair--and obsessed over them, comparing mine with others. To some extent on some level I valued people based on these characteristics. I based my acceptance and liking of them on it to some degree. I am fairly certain those who scored high in good features fared pretty poorly in my esteem, because I saw them as competing and winning in getting in others' good favor. I am stinking relieved to say I am not obsessed about fingernails anymore. And I don't hate everyone who I think is prettier or smarter or more interesting than me. But I still have some serious neuroses when it comes to red hair and the name Bess. I prickle when I meet other red-heads. I get pretty near out-right livid when I even hear of other Besses in the world. Both of these are mine. I claim them.

I think that being 14 had to do with a lot of unwitting Intro to Craziness 101 stuff. Unfortunately I didn't know this until I was thrown into Crazy 230: Your First Complete and Total Meltdown during my first year at BYU. Oh, the joys.

P.S. Six months ago today: walking to church in the pouring rain, Bess wearing Liz's thermals because her skirt was soaking and therefore see-through, dancing and making dinner in the kitchen, Jordan burning rice, John Bennion playing with umbrella in kitchen while others dance, and Jordan playing a most memorable medley of How Great Thou Art and Turn Turn Turn on the guitar.

Monday, November 26, 2007

I'm adopting habits from Kate. Unfortunately only the ones that waste time and not those associated with actually doing homework or writing WIDs..



Yes. I, too, am now keeping track of "six months ago today." Sophie's about to rip out my gullet (I wish I quite knew what that meant) because I am keeping her so well informed.

So, ahem...

Six months ago today we were in Dorchester. We met Nigel Thimbleby, toured his stately home, viewed or did not view an artful or unartful performance of reality or simulation to the fullest or partial extent of its infinity or conciseness, we visited the highly secure Dorchester Library's bathroom, Bess left her journal there, we crossed the walkway of hope and wonder to get to the right side of the station tracks, we rode the train back to Weymouth, and began making collages.



serenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynowserenitynow















My parents are moving to American Fork. They bought a house over the weekend and are moving next month. My mom had a flyer with photos of this house, and the tagline "SERENITY FOR SALE!" I thought it was a joke. I thought she had kept the flyer and was showing it to all our relatives at Thanksgiving because the advertising strategy was so hilarious (she found another house a few weeks ago that was advertised with the tagline "Buy this house and all your wildest dreams will come true!"). I only found out that they were serious after their offer had been accepted. They have purchased serenity. This move is now wrecking havoc in our familial relationships, and I find myself wandering around our house mumbling--and on occasions bellowing--"SERENITY NOW!"

Monday, November 19, 2007

To contrast with all the Cowboy-ness

So, maybe I'm just way behind the times, or maybe you guys too haven't heard the awesomeness that is askaninja.com. Check this out. And then this. And can I resist saying "this"? No. As always. Enjoy.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I should have listened to Jim and Kim more in England

What is the relationship between emo and hipster?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Dmg_4ZA2Y&NR=1

Friday, November 2, 2007

Often I think to myself that I should have bought that linen suit they had at Primark not only because it's a classic summer look, but because then I


could be like Matlock. At least, in the sense that we'd both have linen suits. However, I still doubt that I'd actually wear it on any sort of regular basis. I could try to get one on eBay, but then I still don't have the advantage that I had at Primark of trying it on and seeing how it fit.
It also appears to be some sort of mystic key that unlocks the power of the moustache. Was Mark Twain's powerful facial hair due to his partiality to the linen suit? I don't see how this could be otherwise. My apparent lack of facial hair must be inextricably bound to my lack of a linen suit. This guy knew what was up.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Scary enough for Halloween



Today while reading this I found this wherein I found the following statistics:

Teen pregnancy rates decreased 29 percent for blacks and whites in the 1990s, compared to just 19 percent for Latinas, according to one group's research

Teen Pregnancy is dropping clear across the board--sometimes faster, sometimes slower. How do we fight this frightening trend? Not only the trend, but the insistent and wrong-headed view that it's somehow a good thing for the nation! When will the national dialogue deal with the complexity of teen pregnancies instead of treating any and all knocking-up of teens as one and the same thing?!

Happy Halloween: I fear I may be breaking the new catching trend in long names, but am quite certain I can't think of anything worth titling.

That's pretending that "titling" means to make a title of.

I am so happy it is Halloween. I love it. Though Spencer may think it trite, I think the date deserving of a little Edward Gorey tribute. After all, he is No. 1 on my list of cross-generational lovers.



He was pretty much obsessed with Dracula. (And the New York City Ballet and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I'm trying to be particular.)



Have a Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

So, to avoid studying I went on a crazy internet journey which is always fun. I went from a guitar parts website to a surf band in LA of guys in their

50's who only play double neck guitars to this other guy's website who does things like this:


and this:

and one more so there are 3 and harmony:

I find them all delightfully disturbing.

Happy Halloween! I'm sad I won't be at the party.

http://www.JimWoodring.com

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

In the Spirit of really, really long titles and doing things other than that which is vital to my progress in this mortal life, I submit to you the fr

uits of a very special search I did in preparation for next year's "Snakes on a Plane" blog-buster, "Elephant Riding Space Cowboys." Yep. It's just what it sounds like. Here are some possible scenes from this futuristic romp back to the days of the Wild West like you've never seen it before!!



So... start spreading the word on that blog-o-sphere, dudes.



























Our hero, JR, as a baby.

I really should be doing homework as it is already a day late and I have a conference with the dean's fellow in less than an hour, for which I have...

prepared nothing. The title thing wouldn't let me put the full title on there. That sucks. Here's another Chindogu invention I think could be useful.

So I read some things on the group page that I'm curious about. Was Joni embarrased by something Spencer did? What was it? What is this romance story Hillary and Kim are writing about Claire and Spencer? What's the capital of Algeria?

Anyway, things here are okay. I've been very unmotivated the last couple of days which isn't that good. I've decided I'm no longer reading for Torts this week which was a liberating experience, though that could prove a bad decision in the end (I don't think it will).

Also, I've eaten about 5 BLT's in the last few days and they've been really good. Wheat bread with a thin spread of mayo, brown sugar bacon, a thick slice of tomato and a few leaves of green lettuce, not iceburg, but the real kind. It's quite a tasty little sandwich. Other foods named after famous people: Beef Wellington, Peach Melba (and Melba Toast), Fetuccine Alfredo, Cobb Salad, Beef Stroganoff.

On an enitirely different note, I'm tired of meeting new people and having nothing to talk about. I've decided small talk is stupid and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do, but I welcome any suggestions. I've thought about not talking to anyone, but that path only leads to loneliness and ending up like this guy - which I don't want.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Chindogu

Yes, I guess it's finally time to share my love of all things Japanese. While reading an article about how Japanese fashion designers are creating portable vending machine suits and purses that transform to look like manhole covers--also an interesting article, check it out here--I found this craze called Chindogu which you might enjoy reading about. Don't miss how Chindogu means "Weird Tool" and not "Penis Tool," nor the equally entertaining "Tenets of Chindogu" and the different Chindogu they have on display. Is it not neat-o? Check it out here.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Simpsonized!!!



Simpsonize Me



Yes that's right. You can finally find out what you'd look like in the Simpson's Universe. All you have to do is submit the right pic and voila! You're a Simpsons character. Here's me...

http://simpsonizeme.com/

Saturday, October 13, 2007

For to photo

Liz and I have talked. We want more photos on this blog. So, to start off what I hope becomes a very common indulgence by all parties with in-computer cameras or enough resolve to put pictures from cameras onto computers, I give you myself.

Part 1. Bess at home on cold and windy night without heater.





Part 2. Bess a la Renaissance



I look forward to your offerings, whether they be of the self or others.

Love,
Bess

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Victory!







So, I work with several different employees from the PE department, known only as "PE Person" because of their bristling personalities. I think that they have all been taught in staff meetings to be cold and unapproachable and to reject all offers of friendship. So I sit here, day after day, in complete silence with one of them for hours at a time. The silence is only broken when the boyfriend of one of them comes in and they go into the back area and make out among the hanging sleeping bags and I hear them giggling. Some days I get here before PE Person and log onto the computer, turn on music, etc. On those days, PE Person comes in and looms over me for a few minutes without a word, trying to figure out what to do with herself if she can't surf the internet. If I ever get up to go to the bathroom or to do some work, within five seconds PE Person is in my seat and moving my stuff out of the way without a word. I tell her at times that she can turn the music down if it's disturbing her studying and she says "No, that's okay." But when I leave the room and come back, the music is invariably turned off.
Today I'd had enough. I got here first, logged in, turned on music, and sat...just waiting. When PE Person got here she loomed and then flounced to the other chair, not knowing what to do. After a few minutes she got bored enough that she actually spoke to me and asked how long I would need the computer for. I told her that it would be a while, that I was working on my statistics homework and needed the internet. This apparently stumped the poor little passive-aggressive soul (not that I can really criticize anyone for that at this point) and she left to go to the computer lab. To capitalize on the moment, the computer labs closed shortly thereafter for devotional. She had to come back and sit and stare into space for the next hour before heading back to the lab. I can't help but feel very proud.
I really probably ought to add that much of my animosity comes from the fact that various PE Persons have been in charge of this room and equipment for the past few years and none of them seem to have done anything. The room was disgusting, the equipment was dirty and damaged, and I spent my first few weeks just cleaning while PE Person sat and surfed the interweb. On one of the rare occasions when one of them spoke to me, she said "I'm so glad you're cleaning. It's so gross in here, I haven't been able to bring myself to touch anything." So they sit and do nothing, and get paid more than I get paid. Even the smallest forms of revenge are sweet. As Rachel said "Take the bitch down!"

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Baby's New Tooth




My mom says I can't play with airsoft guns anymore. Guess which front tooth is partially fake, after being shot out of my mouth by an airsoft-wielding, tooth-destroying, non-weenie, semi-crazed England and Literature 2007 student.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Those Damn Flutes: an Anniversary Tribute

Today is the 5 month anniversary of the start of the program. I had the opportunity to rip about a month off a Gary Larson's Farside daily calendar this morning. I found something I think paralled much reaction to Aed the Whelpe in England.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Febtober



Today Sophie got a dog. He is a year old, mostly black with brindle and white, and an English Bull Terrier. He is much larger than I thought he would be. I think I shall become very fond of him. His previous owners were bikers--Harleys. They moved to San Francisco and could not afford an apartment that allowed dogs. And this one would be hard to hide. His name is Doc Holiday.

Sophie has decided to rename him, and I agree. She likes the name Toby. He doesn't know that Toby is his new name, however, so to get his attention one must call out "Doc Toby." This was further corrupted by Sophie into "Doctober." I have since submitted my request that his name officially be "Febtober," but have little doubt that whether she accepts the proposal or not I shall call him whatever I want.

Please come meet little Febtober anytime. He seems to like people and new things.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Spare me my life!!

Often, I find myself looking for meaningless, mindless entertainment. It's not that I don't enjoy entertainment with actual substance, it's just that sometimes escaping is exactly what I want. No, it's more than a want, it's a need.

Since they haven't invented the holodeck (from Star Trek TNG) yet, I have to resort to watching YouTube or episodes of Conan the Adventurer which I highly recommend because he is "the most powerful warrior ever!"

Anyway, I came across this amazing example of such entertainment the other day. Here is why I love it:
1 - the music
2- the dancing
3- the backwards bandana
4 - Spare me my life!

Enjoy! Japanese English/Self Defense Training Video

-Jordan

Friday, September 14, 2007

Aed, Truly

Over the summer I learned that I was a descentant (along with probably half the US) of the Scottish kings Aed and Somebody the Whelpe, whose combined names we have to thank for ours. This pleased me as I saw it as some kind of divine guidance and sanction. Well, today it just got better. May I present my findings...

Hayes: This is the anglicised version of the Gaelic Ó háodha, meaning "Descendant of Aodh," a personal name meaning "fire."

Aodh: From the old Irish name Áed, which meant "fire."

I am then Bess "Descendant of Aed." This can't be improved upon, I'm sure.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Who does this remind everyone of?

The answer may be more complicated and far-reaching/wide-ranging than it appears at first. But I think we can all agree that this is the best thing that makes everyone's day... all the time.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30990

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The most amazing case in US history?

Today was another hum-drum day until I came across this case while reading about the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure (almost as exciting as the New Federal Rules of Civil Procedure).

Check it out, I promise it'll make your day.
Mayo v. Satan and His Staff

Monday, September 10, 2007

Educational Decree #97786343678455778664324121

I had a very "Dolores Umbridge" sort of moment on Friday. BYU has a new policy regarding tuition this semester. We used to have a few weeks at the beginning of the semester to pay before being fined. Now, if you have not paid by the first day of class a fine is placed on your account, which doesn't allow classes to be added or dropped. I was signed up for 10.5 credits and needed to add John's English class with an add card, which would take me to full-time status and raise the cost of my tuition. I couldn't add the class because I hadn't paid my tuition, but I couldn't pay the full amount of my tuition until I added the class. A dilemma. After over an hour in various lines I finally convinced the power-hungry student employee (who looked like she had recently been robbed of her floral print cardigan and pink hairbow) to let me write a check for the amount of full-time tuition, even though we all knew that I was not a full-time student at that point. As I wrote the check this conversation occurred:

Dolores: [cooing] "Elizabeth? May I ask you a question?"
Liz: "Sure."
Dolores: [still cooing, but preparing for the attack] "Why wouldn't you pay your tuition on time?"
Liz [sensing danger] explains that she had been unaware of the new policy and was also experiencing Catch-22-like dilemmas regarding the number of credit hours she would be taking.
Dolores: [giggling menacingly] "Oh, dear! You must not have received the numerous emails, letters, and postcards that were sent out, or seen the notices posted all over campus. Oh dear, oh dear!" [giggling with teeth bared]
Liz: [nauseous and gritting teeth] "No. Apparently not." [At this point she thrusts the tuition check at Dolores and runs away in a fashion not unlike Napoleon Dynamite]

Scary scary!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Oh man

I still can't think of a good ole Scottish name for meself. I was thinking about what it'd be like to have a kid named Aed though, and that was pretty sweet.

Tonight is the JRueben Clark Law society meeting which is for Mormons so it'll be interesting to see how many there are. I think there's quite a few.

So how was school for everyone? At least everyone in school. I hope it was everything you ever dreamed this semester would be.

The other day, I was walking through the halls and behind me I overheard this:

Girl: I mean, we were having sex on things like box springs...
Potentially Gay Man: Oh my G--!!

It was really hard not to turn around and look to see who was talking. It's little things like that that make you realize how much of a bubble BYU is. It's not a bad bubble, I miss it sometimes, but it is refreshing, though a bit frightening to be in the "real world." Though so far it seems like people are people Mormon or not. I feel like I could pair up most everyone here with someone I met/saw at BYU and they'd be like personality twins if not actual physical look-alikes.

I think I'm joining the softball team which will be cool. First practice is Saturday.

Wishing you were here....
-Jordan "Knight of the Burning Flower and Protector General of Outstanding Hopes, Prince of the East Wind and Grand Vizeer Solicitor TTT, Marquis of Tweeddale, Order of the Golden Fleece, Custodian of All Scotland" Faux

Friday, August 31, 2007

My New Laptop

Liz got a new computer, too. A laptop. It cost her parents a lot of money and they nearly had a panic attack, but they don't mind so much because they seem confident that she will graduate one day and therefore earn this graduation gift. She is not so sure, but she still can't help feeling giddy about having this new, shiny thing. The computer would have taken a picture for her to post, but she does not yet know how to use technological things. In fact, she is very scared of it. One day she hopes to understand it enough to bring it to John Bennion's class and allow Jordan to participate via webcam. And also to post a picture of it on this blog, because it is almost as pretty as Rose's!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

My New Computer

Rose bought a new computer. It cost her a lot of money and she nearly had a panic attack. But she still can't help feeling giddy about having this new, shiny thing. The computer took this picture. Rose likes to think they are friends. There's a picture of Rose's new friend on that box in the background. Isn't it pretty?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Jordan the Hero



For Jordan:

Enjoy this very low quality version of our present to you. You will receive a good copy in hard copy. I hope Law School Week 1 was not too bad. Good luck with Week 2.

Miss you terribly.
Bess

A week in the life

Monday:
Buy air-soft rifle for communal family use. On wounded, shooting-induced adrenaline high, return to store three hours later and buy the pistol with two quickly reloading magazines that had tempted earlier. Don't bother pretending it is for public use. Mine, baby, all mine. Am happy when Andy tells me no guns for Henry for 3-4 years yet. Means I can take them to Provo for purely personal possession and play.

Tuesday:
Dream that garments come in colors. My sister Sophie wears bright pink in a thermal mesh. Kim Roberts readies to go to the temple for the first time by choosing a blue set with long-sleeved top. It shows under her short-sleeves, but lends interesting contrast to the white t-shirt. Tell Andy of this dream. She replies: "What a good idea!" Dad comes home from work, sits at table, looks seriously at Mom and asks, "Have you ever heard of a falling block game called Tetris?" He over-enunciates and must almost pause after the second T for the force of the plosive's release. Laugh for long time. It was a clue on a crossword puzzle. Remember line from For Your Consideration: "Have you ever heard of the World Wide Interweb?"

Wednesday:
Organize 10 boxes of books onto shelves in brother's room. Engage full stop when Andy says to combine what I have separated into picture books, self-judged "good" picture books, picture books about true-ish topics, and illustrated picture book versions of famous literature. Compromise by placing building blocks between categories now on same shelf.

Thursday:
Fall asleep to sound of sprinklers through open window, rotation of the ceiling fan, and tap routine outside. Tap routine? Who is dancing? I'm sure no one is dancing. But what then is the tapping I hear? Fail to discover. Dream can do ballet quite well.

Friday:
Watch "Jose Chung's From Outer Space," an old episode of The X-Files. Decide the best line from any sort of media or literature from all time is found in said episode: "I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage." Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Saturday:
Spend the last 1.5 hours of the day loitering in the 24-hour pharmacy, waiting for pharmacists and insurers to come to an understanding before giving me a bottle of rather strong pain relievers while contemplating dying eye-brows. Take pills to Sophie, crying in bed with migraine. Watch last three episodes of last season's CSI, as they are still on DVR. Convert to show. Was good previously, but these are ridiculous fun. Or is it the time of night? Excellent line from episode "Living Doll": "Okay...we're in a David Lynch movie. Where's the dwarf?"

Sunday:
Sleep poorly and shortly, as falling asleep is fraught with temperature fluctuations, anxiety, repeatedly filling bladder, bruised armpits, and still too much interest in CSI. Wake after 4.5 hours. Kindly wash dishes for drugged and migrained sister before driving to SL in silent semi-stupor. Decide to sleep through Relief Society. Wake when parents get home from church. Realize, not unhappily, have missed the whole thing. Shower and go to area singles ward never before attended. Enjoy students with beards. Plan on returning. Find shame in own shoddy appearance and repeat outfit as sit on back row and look at meticulously-coiffed hair of all men and women. Wish had put own hair away as is dries and fries to frizzy poof as meeting slowly passes.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Law School

I dove under my desk as a B-52 bomber flew into the classroom my first day of law school. After a few moments, my heart rate returned to normal and I realized the hailstorm wasn't steel rain, but other students frantically transcribing everything the professor said. I got back into my chair and removed my notebook, and also began taking notes, but only of important ideas and concepts. The kicker was that my notebook was actually made of spiral bound paper and not Japanese computer chips.

My apartment in Crystal City is basically ginormous. It's like living in a hotel suite sort of. There is a concierge and they even have those luggage carts like hotels. I actually walk through a hotel on the way to the Metro, which is accesible through the Crystal City Shops underneath apartment buildings and the Marriott. It's a pretty cool little set up.

We don't have a tv, but my roommate, Alan, has a projector so we've been watching The Office and Southpark on a 9 foot screen. Not bad I'd say. we watched Charlie the Unicorn and it was incredible. I decided to learn the candy mountain song on the accordion and make a goal to perform it for real live people. I'm sure that will make me the most popular kid at school/in the ward.

Welcome



Aed the Whelpe for life!