Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Slapping Lions

El-Sayed El-Essawy 1

This is one of the most awesome things I've heard since Elephant-Riding Space Cowboys.

This guy is going to fight a lion... for freedom. "When I defeat the lion - which I will - I will pull an Israeli flag out of my pocket, and drape it over the lion, and put my foot on it."

Al-Masry: If the event is successful, how will you follow it up? More lion fights?

Essawy: I have a whole series of shows planned in my head. I will pull an airplane with my teeth, and I will pull an airplane with my hair. I will also be run over by an airplane. In between each of these acts, there will be lion battles.

How will he fight?

"I will have to use a new fighting style I’ve developed, which is called 'Life or Death.'"

What does that fighting style consist of?

"Everything. It consists of a series of combination moves. I will start off with the slaps, but, you should know, my slaps are unlike any other. My strength is truly incredible and unprecedented."

Anyway, I should stop cutting and pasting some awesome bits from the interview. It's all awesome. All the time.