I had a very "Dolores Umbridge" sort of moment on Friday. BYU has a new policy regarding tuition this semester. We used to have a few weeks at the beginning of the semester to pay before being fined. Now, if you have not paid by the first day of class a fine is placed on your account, which doesn't allow classes to be added or dropped. I was signed up for 10.5 credits and needed to add John's English class with an add card, which would take me to full-time status and raise the cost of my tuition. I couldn't add the class because I hadn't paid my tuition, but I couldn't pay the full amount of my tuition until I added the class. A dilemma. After over an hour in various lines I finally convinced the power-hungry student employee (who looked like she had recently been robbed of her floral print cardigan and pink hairbow) to let me write a check for the amount of full-time tuition, even though we all knew that I was not a full-time student at that point. As I wrote the check this conversation occurred:
Dolores: [cooing] "Elizabeth? May I ask you a question?"
Liz: "Sure."
Dolores: [still cooing, but preparing for the attack] "Why wouldn't you pay your tuition on time?"
Liz [sensing danger] explains that she had been unaware of the new policy and was also experiencing Catch-22-like dilemmas regarding the number of credit hours she would be taking.
Dolores: [giggling menacingly] "Oh, dear! You must not have received the numerous emails, letters, and postcards that were sent out, or seen the notices posted all over campus. Oh dear, oh dear!" [giggling with teeth bared]
Liz: [nauseous and gritting teeth] "No. Apparently not." [At this point she thrusts the tuition check at Dolores and runs away in a fashion not unlike Napoleon Dynamite]
Scary scary!
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3 comments:
Jeers to the anal student employee girl. - May her teeth rot out at a premature age and may her legs get all spider-veiney and her husband make her wear nylons in bed. (because he's a jerk)
Not really though, but what a mean spirited person.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so reluctant to graduate. Other times I wonder why the hell I am still here. This moment is of the latter kind.
I forgot to mention that she also said something along the lines of "Well, I'm sure you'll want to make extra sure that you pay your tuition on time next semester, won't you?" to which I replied "No, I'm done with this place." and then fled.
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