A week in the life

Monday:
Buy air-soft rifle for communal family use. On wounded, shooting-induced adrenaline high, return to store three hours later and buy the pistol with two quickly reloading magazines that had tempted earlier. Don't bother pretending it is for public use. Mine, baby, all mine. Am happy when Andy tells me no guns for Henry for 3-4 years yet. Means I can take them to Provo for purely personal possession and play.

Tuesday:
Dream that garments come in colors. My sister Sophie wears bright pink in a thermal mesh. Kim Roberts readies to go to the temple for the first time by choosing a blue set with long-sleeved top. It shows under her short-sleeves, but lends interesting contrast to the white t-shirt. Tell Andy of this dream. She replies: "What a good idea!" Dad comes home from work, sits at table, looks seriously at Mom and asks, "Have you ever heard of a falling block game called Tetris?" He over-enunciates and must almost pause after the second T for the force of the plosive's release. Laugh for long time. It was a clue on a crossword puzzle. Remember line from For Your Consideration: "Have you ever heard of the World Wide Interweb?"

Wednesday:
Organize 10 boxes of books onto shelves in brother's room. Engage full stop when Andy says to combine what I have separated into picture books, self-judged "good" picture books, picture books about true-ish topics, and illustrated picture book versions of famous literature. Compromise by placing building blocks between categories now on same shelf.

Thursday:
Fall asleep to sound of sprinklers through open window, rotation of the ceiling fan, and tap routine outside. Tap routine? Who is dancing? I'm sure no one is dancing. But what then is the tapping I hear? Fail to discover. Dream can do ballet quite well.

Friday:
Watch "Jose Chung's From Outer Space," an old episode of The X-Files. Decide the best line from any sort of media or literature from all time is found in said episode: "I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage." Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Saturday:
Spend the last 1.5 hours of the day loitering in the 24-hour pharmacy, waiting for pharmacists and insurers to come to an understanding before giving me a bottle of rather strong pain relievers while contemplating dying eye-brows. Take pills to Sophie, crying in bed with migraine. Watch last three episodes of last season's CSI, as they are still on DVR. Convert to show. Was good previously, but these are ridiculous fun. Or is it the time of night? Excellent line from episode "Living Doll": "Okay...we're in a David Lynch movie. Where's the dwarf?"

Sunday:
Sleep poorly and shortly, as falling asleep is fraught with temperature fluctuations, anxiety, repeatedly filling bladder, bruised armpits, and still too much interest in CSI. Wake after 4.5 hours. Kindly wash dishes for drugged and migrained sister before driving to SL in silent semi-stupor. Decide to sleep through Relief Society. Wake when parents get home from church. Realize, not unhappily, have missed the whole thing. Shower and go to area singles ward never before attended. Enjoy students with beards. Plan on returning. Find shame in own shoddy appearance and repeat outfit as sit on back row and look at meticulously-coiffed hair of all men and women. Wish had put own hair away as is dries and fries to frizzy poof as meeting slowly passes.