Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Victory!







So, I work with several different employees from the PE department, known only as "PE Person" because of their bristling personalities. I think that they have all been taught in staff meetings to be cold and unapproachable and to reject all offers of friendship. So I sit here, day after day, in complete silence with one of them for hours at a time. The silence is only broken when the boyfriend of one of them comes in and they go into the back area and make out among the hanging sleeping bags and I hear them giggling. Some days I get here before PE Person and log onto the computer, turn on music, etc. On those days, PE Person comes in and looms over me for a few minutes without a word, trying to figure out what to do with herself if she can't surf the internet. If I ever get up to go to the bathroom or to do some work, within five seconds PE Person is in my seat and moving my stuff out of the way without a word. I tell her at times that she can turn the music down if it's disturbing her studying and she says "No, that's okay." But when I leave the room and come back, the music is invariably turned off.
Today I'd had enough. I got here first, logged in, turned on music, and sat...just waiting. When PE Person got here she loomed and then flounced to the other chair, not knowing what to do. After a few minutes she got bored enough that she actually spoke to me and asked how long I would need the computer for. I told her that it would be a while, that I was working on my statistics homework and needed the internet. This apparently stumped the poor little passive-aggressive soul (not that I can really criticize anyone for that at this point) and she left to go to the computer lab. To capitalize on the moment, the computer labs closed shortly thereafter for devotional. She had to come back and sit and stare into space for the next hour before heading back to the lab. I can't help but feel very proud.
I really probably ought to add that much of my animosity comes from the fact that various PE Persons have been in charge of this room and equipment for the past few years and none of them seem to have done anything. The room was disgusting, the equipment was dirty and damaged, and I spent my first few weeks just cleaning while PE Person sat and surfed the interweb. On one of the rare occasions when one of them spoke to me, she said "I'm so glad you're cleaning. It's so gross in here, I haven't been able to bring myself to touch anything." So they sit and do nothing, and get paid more than I get paid. Even the smallest forms of revenge are sweet. As Rachel said "Take the bitch down!"

8 comments:

J. Faux said...

Heavens. The men's lockerroom attendants are the same way. I think they are trained to be so because no matter who they are or how many years I've gone in there, they never make eye contact, say hello, and always, always throw everything which is great because often they'll miss the counter and have to get out of their chair, bend down, pick up your little blue card off the floor and give it back to you. (That sentence had 68 words in case you were wondering.)

You could try starting a conversation with her, like this: [she comes in]
Liz: So, you in...[put feet up on desk, hands behind head] or out?
PE Person: What?
Liz: I said [bring down feet, lean forward, elbows on knees] are you in or out?
PE Person: ...What?
Liz: [begin almost immediatly after she finishes speaking, talking loudly and quickly] Snorkels! Up or down? Say it!

By this time, hopefully she'll just leave and quit and find another job and you can get a friend in there with you, or she'll laugh and then you can be friends. Or just keep going "Ah geez there it goes again, crapped my pants. [pause] Freakin' incontinence" every now and then.

Or.

Next time their making out, you can knock on the door and ask Room for one more? Okay, that may have crossed the line, and this is already like the longest comment ever, but I have a review session at 8pm and it's 6:30pm and I have no where to go and have done pretty much all the homework I'm going to do today which was like 4 hours worth, but whatever. Whiny whiny whiny wine whiny whine whiner, waaa wahh wahh crying like a little itty bitty baby.

Love,
Jordan

Bee Hives said...

Oh, man. I miss Jordan. Amen, and amen. I really think the incontinence line's a surefire winner. Winner. Whiner.

Congratulations, Liz.

Bee Hives said...

PS. Liz, did you attach pictures? Are they missing for everyone or is this lab computer just clappy because it's in the clappy SWKT lab?

Theodosia said...

I'm contemplating just hiding in the sleeping bags (with or without an air-soft gun) and waiting for the maker-outers. And I do like the snorkels idea. And I really miss Jordan!
Yes, there were two pictures, they showed up before, but for some reason they're not now. One was a picture of my stuff at the desk with a large sign on the chair that read "Liz's Chair. DO NOT TOUCH" and the other was of a folding chair in a dark, dingy corner near the PE equipment with a sign that said "PE Person's chair". I was really afraid that she'd walk back in while I was taking these pictures.

Bee Hives said...

It's a pity she didn't.

Theodosia said...

It's got to be the staff meetings. I just had to go into one of the PE offices for something. I took care of what I was doing, and then turned around to find that the door had closed and locked behind me. I couldn't get out. I asked the girl at the desk to tell me the code and she said "I don't know." and turned away. I said "So, what the best way to get out?" No answer. "So, what's the best way to get out?" She ROLLED HER EYES and said "Just go through there" pointing to a door that lead to a gym that had a large class going on inside. And I had to walk through the middle of the class.

theriddle said...

Liz,

How do you stand it?

amen to Take the bitch down

Theodosia said...

Yesterday when Spencer read that I was disoriented, irritable, and combative he said "So, you're at work, then?" (I wasn't, I was just dehydrated) That made me feel kind of bad. I'll stop complaining.