My parents are moving to American Fork. They bought a house over the weekend and are moving next month. My mom had a flyer with photos of this house, and the tagline "SERENITY FOR SALE!" I thought it was a joke. I thought she had kept the flyer and was showing it to all our relatives at Thanksgiving because the advertising strategy was so hilarious (she found another house a few weeks ago that was advertised with the tagline "Buy this house and all your wildest dreams will come true!"). I only found out that they were serious after their offer had been accepted. They have purchased serenity. This move is now wrecking havoc in our familial relationships, and I find myself wandering around our house mumbling--and on occasions bellowing--"SERENITY NOW!"
7 comments:
Holy crap! So what happens to you?!
Not serenity...that's for sure.
Boo. When are we having a bitch and moan party? I really need one. No one is freaking happy, Bob. Boo. And I only got one hour of sleep last night. Boo. Boo.
That's so weird. Just the other day my mom asked me if I would care if they moved again, and I told here I didn't care the first time, especially since I was on my mission and didn't have to help pack/unpack.
That's sad to move after living one place so long though. Sounds like you could use a cup of Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer Herbal Tea Blend. It's got Eleuthero ginseng root, peppermint leaves, cinnamon, ginger root, chamomile flowers, lemon grass, licorice root, catnip leaves, tilia flowers, natural lemon flavor, hops, and Vitamins B6, and B12.
It calms me right down, like drugs except you aren't breaking any commandments and it tastes a lot better. Get a cup, curl up on the couch and watch something calming and nice like Singin' in the Rain or Cinderella.
Or you could do what my buddy Alan did once and get a shovel and try to smash up an old paddleboat we pulled out of a dumpster somewhere. It was molded plastic, so he didn't get very far, but the neighbors yelled at him to shut-up which is always nice. You could also throw logs or large rocks into the river like old times. Or burn something. Or play some metal on the tin whistle. Or buy plates at DI, smash them and make a mosaic. Or make wind chimes and leave them in places around Provo. I always meant to do that. You know, help others relieve stress with beautiful ching ching, ching ching ching ching, ching ching, ching ching...
That tea sounds wonderful. I had hot chocolate and cereal for breakfast this morning, and it was rather nice. I was dreaming of Grasmere (not Dorchester...sorry...although now I'm thinking about that high security bathroom and I'm laughing here in the hallway of the RB, especially when I remember that Spencer pulled the emergency string). I'm also looking forward to another visit to the dentist tomorrow and the laughing gas that will accompany my permanent new tooth. That ought to kill some stress. Also, I woke up this morning and my neighbors had this enormous old fishing boat in front of their house...a real old fashioned fishing boat, it was beautiful. That might not stop me from trying to smash it, though. The smashed plate mosaic is tempting. Maybe I'll try it. I've already thrown rocks, but that was into the dregs of the mostly-drained and frozen over pond in my parents backyard. It didn't bring the same relief as the Thames or the Colorado Rivers. I'm going to overcome this frustration, though. As soon as we have our bitch and moan party, I will vow to stop stressing out. What's interesting to me is that I've been in a constant state of stress for as long as any of you have known me...and you're still my friends! (really I didn't used to be like this!)
You're not going to destress and change and then abandon us are you? I don't think I can handle that. And I don't think that I am going to destress soon, so I don't want any more reasons to have a break down. I already have an amazing ability to create those all on my own.
P.S. In preparation for the move my mom is collecting cardboard boxes. She went to the liquor store last night because those boxes are small (not quite as heavy when filled with books, etc.), have lids, and are plentiful. The wall in our kitchen is now lined with Bacardi and Captain Morgan logos. It's doing wonders for morale.
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