Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Juicy Whip vs. Orange Bang: I Win Because this Is Awesome

The Balled of Juicy Whip vs. Orange Bang

Come along, Aed's, and hear a fine tale
of a battle Royale in the Breakfastnook vale.
On a shady, cool morn, as the clock ticked near two
there was quiet and silence... then a hulaballoo!

Along came a figure so young and so sleek
he frightened the lonely, the comely and meek.
He strode up with a smile, a birdie he flipped,
and he said with a shout, "they call me The Whip!"

Juicy whip was his name, and whipping he did
on each dairy-supplied drink that showed up on the grid.
Anything whipped, or frappe-d, or mixed with some milk
knew Whip would whip their finely whipped ilk.

So each yogurt drink, soy drink, and cafe au lait,
hunched up their skorts and turned right away.
They ran off in fear, when they heard those dread words,
"they call me the whip" sent them off like some birds.

But in Breakfastnook vale left behind in the sprawl,
stood one with dairy, looming silent and tall.
Rough and weary at the end of his chain,
Stood a lone breakfast drink, the bread called, Orange Bang!

Now, he was no youngin' with time on his side
but wrinkled and worn, without any pride.
But seeing the fear on his breakfast food chums,
he rankled at Whip,and stuck to his guns.

"Now git along, Whip," he said with a wheeze.
"There're no dairy here now, neither milk nor some cheese.
But even if there were, just what is it to you?
Who cares what folks choose for their own breakfast brew?"

Now whip didn't like that, didn't like it one bit,
so with nary a word he hocked out some spit
That flew through the air with a ring and a rang
and landed smack dab, on the nose of ol' Bang.

Squinting and wiping, Bang said with a growl,
"Now, that's enough, Whip," then he let out a howl.
Bang drew out his guns, Whip whipped his out too,
and the noise and the smoke and the shouting sounds grew.

And after the shots, and the silence and smoke,
Standing there on the table, was only one bloke
who proved to this day that, whatever you do,
calling Bang, Bang, is only too true.

2 comments:

Bee Hives said...

My stars. Little Neddie, you have got it. And...ugh...Dorthy Gish.

Ro Ro Riot said...

Is this what you do when you're supposed to be working? You must be fitting in wonderfully there.