Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Slapping Lions

El-Sayed El-Essawy 1

This is one of the most awesome things I've heard since Elephant-Riding Space Cowboys.

This guy is going to fight a lion... for freedom. "When I defeat the lion - which I will - I will pull an Israeli flag out of my pocket, and drape it over the lion, and put my foot on it."

Al-Masry: If the event is successful, how will you follow it up? More lion fights?

Essawy: I have a whole series of shows planned in my head. I will pull an airplane with my teeth, and I will pull an airplane with my hair. I will also be run over by an airplane. In between each of these acts, there will be lion battles.

How will he fight?

"I will have to use a new fighting style I’ve developed, which is called 'Life or Death.'"

What does that fighting style consist of?

"Everything. It consists of a series of combination moves. I will start off with the slaps, but, you should know, my slaps are unlike any other. My strength is truly incredible and unprecedented."

Anyway, I should stop cutting and pasting some awesome bits from the interview. It's all awesome. All the time.

5 comments:

Theodosia said...

"I’ve taught children how to chew glass and pull cars with their teeth - the proof is on YouTube. I can raise a generation of super soldiers. I’ve jumped from ten-story buildings, I’ve hung myself many times and have been repeatedly run over. So, when I say I have the intellect and strength to take a lion down, people should take me seriously. Why isn’t anyone listening to me? I don’t know, but it’s very frustrating..."

Hahahahahahahaha! There's a certain amount of skepticism that enters my mind when I hear someone say that the proof is on youtube.

I'd like to know when this battle is taking place because I'm very curious about the outcome.

Theodosia said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UeYm1mgKgg

Hopefully when the fight happens, it will be well-documented on the YouTube.

Spencer G said...

I really hope it happens although the Minister of the Interior or something has promised that it will not happen in Egypt.

Theodosia said...

Any chance that it might happen outside of Egypt?

Spencer G said...

I don't know. I just hope it happens, and I really hope Nazareth's "Love Hurts" is the theme song. Wouldn't that be awesome? Play the song and imagine the brutal, heart-breaking poetry of the lion slaps...